Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Randomize
