You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
