i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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