Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
