All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
