im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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