All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
