booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
