Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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