what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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