Whod you bang
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
