i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
