he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
