Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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