I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I think people are normalizing furries
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
