i jhust puked up my retainher.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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