Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
