He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
