I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
