dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
