wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
