so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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