im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
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