M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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