D3 body, D1 cock
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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