Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
