fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
