at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
