nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
