thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Dick very happy bro
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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