he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
