There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
