Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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