Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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