someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Randomize
