i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
either way he was missing a nipple.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
