butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My balls are so social today.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
