just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
