So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
