Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
