6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
