i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
