hotel room ftw
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
