So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
