I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just blew my weed a kiss
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
