yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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