What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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