Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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