This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
