he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
