So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
false alarm. still invincible.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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